Hi (she types sheepishly)…
So apparently I wasn’t ready for P90x… twisted my ankle on round 2 of plyo and used that as an excuse (along with the serious intensity of the workout and how it was consuming my life (diet included) to just stop. So, being the extremist I am – I STOPPED. I stopped counting my calories and protein, ate what I want, did what I want… and oh did I pay for it. As of today I am back up to 178 (enter fail music). I did my “bulk” but never got to the “cut.” BUT WAIT… that’s not the end of the story.
I’ve decided to try Stronglifts 5×5 as it is more of a beginner workout and SO SO simple. They even have a minimalist workout here. The premise is simple. Start your first workout weight low, next time add five pounds. Do 5 sets of 5. Simple!
So my plan is:
Monday: Stronglifts A
Wednesday: Stronglifts B
Friday: Stronglifts A
Then alternate the next week. I know I probably seem wishy-washy… but I have to (x10) find what works for ME. This is about me being healthier and stronger. I will not quit again until I hit my goal. Not an option. First of all, let me just be personal… my body was NOT meant to handle this weight. I have a small frame… my dentist tells me to use a kid’s toothbrush for goodness sakes! This is no longer about aesthetics… that will be a by-product. This is about health. I have chaffing spots from rolls, and am LIVING in sweats because I REFUSE to buy the next size up in jeans. I have a double-chin, and feel like I am drowning in my own fat. So there ya go.
As far as diet goes, for the first two weeks I will be eating very low carb. Then, I will add in complex carbs only. I will try to eat every 3 hours… that’s the hard part!
Today, I am going to get a newspaper to take my “before” shot – which I bought a (ew ew ew) bikini for. I signed up on bodybuilding.com to enter into the 12 week transformation challenge… but I’m not holding my breath for that. I will try my best and you just never know!! I could use all the encouragement anyone has to spill. I have been fighting this discouragement for a month and really felt like… just lost.
Please pray for my hubby, too – he is overweight and honestly is NOT encouraging whatsoever. He laughed at me starting up again this time. It hurts – but I am rising above it. My dad even said on a post that I can’t fight genetics. Oh did that make me mad. My brother in law stopped himself from saying something about my weight at Christmas, but I heard it just the same. Ugh.
I have cried out to God SO much during this… This morning I begged Him to help me! I cannot do this without Him. But, it seems He is silent on the matter. My face is so fat I don’t recognize myself. I try to be strong and motivational and positive… but right now I am kind of rock bottom. My body is a mess, my house is a mess… I hate my hair. And my dryer isn’t working.
Okay… so there it is. Raw and real. That’s what you get here.